I had never made this soup before. I think I made it in a dream the other night? Does that count? Anyhow, I had a craving. I decided to just wing it and see what happened. According to multiple reviews what happened was FANTASTIC! It is a rich, creamy, decadent, deliciousness that your whole family no matter how conventional or UN will love. 
Prep: 30 Minutes            Cook Time: 2 hours          Total Time: Approximately 2.5-3 hours

Difficulty: Novice            

Makes a whole crap load of chowder.  I use my giant soup pot.. It probably holds 2 gallons of soup. 

  • 4 Large potatoes cubed
  • 4 small to medium thawed chicken breasts
  • 3 Stalks of celery chopped
  • 1 large white or yellow onion chopped
  • 1 large Jalapeno diced
  • 4 cloves of garlic minced
  • 1 Can of whole kernel corn
  • 1 cup of Velveeta cheese
  • 1/2 cup of half and half
  • 4 chicken bullion cubes 
  • 2 tbsp of butter
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Bacon bits for topping
  • 3/4 cup of shredded cheddar cheese

1.   The first thing you do is make b0t's cheater chicken stock.  I make this when I don't have an entire leftover chicken laying around. Fill your soup pot 1/2 way with water.  Add the bullion and bring to a boil. Add the chicken breasts untrimmed and whole into the boiling water. Reduce the heat to medium and wait until the chicken is fully cooked. When the chicken is cooked, set it aside with a slotted spoon. 

2.   At the same time that the chicken is cooking you will melt the 2 tbsp of butter in a separate pot. Add the onion, celery, jalapeno and some salt and pepper. I added about a tsp of pepper and 6 shakes of salt. (very precise... I know.)  Simmer at medium heat and cover the pot to keep the moisture inside. Cook until the onions are slightly translucent. Add the garlic during the last minute of cooking. 

3.    Add the cubed potatoes and the cooked celery, onion, jalapeno, and garlic to the chicken broth pot. Bring heat to a simmer, cover, and cook it for 45 minutes until the potatoes start falling apart. 

4.   While you are waiting for the potatoes to disintegrate, use two forks to shred the chicken into bite sized pieces. 

5.    Once the potatoes are falling apart nicely add the chicken back to the pot. Drain the can of corn and add it as well. If you like a little kick to your soup add another diced jalapeno. Bring it to a simmer and cook everything for another 45 minutes or so. 

6.    By now the potatoes should be in tiny chunks. The broth of the soup should be nicely thickened.  Make sure you taste it! it should taste smooth, and have a bit of a kick. Add the half and half slowly and turn the soup to medium. I added another cup and a half of milk whisked with 2 tbsp of corn starch to give it a thicker consistency. Turn up the heat but BE CAREFUL NOT TO BOIL IT. 

7.    Once the soup is the consistency of runny gravy reduce the heat to low and add the Velveeta in small 1" squares. Stir occasionally until they are all melted. Add the shredded cheddar and stir occasionally as well until it is all melted. 

8.    Now it's ready to serve!!!!! Top it with some green onions (optional), a bit more cheddar, and some bacon bits. I made some Parmesan biscuits on the side.  ENJOY!!!!!
So, recently (VERY RECENTLY) I started baking. I'm talking like last week. My previous attempts were less than successful.  I inherited all of my culinary skills from my wonderful, beautiful, and hilarious mother. HOWEVER, the closest my mom ever got to baking was pancakes and she only made them one time. I still poke fun at her on occasion due to the fact that they closely resembled the consistency of a granite counter-top. Literally inedible. 

LUCKY FOR ME, I currently live with a baking extraordinaire. She has taught me the basics and thanks to her I made an incredible almond cake with cream cheese frosting last week and it was a huge hit. I have decided to move onto my favorite of all desserts. CHEESECAKE! THANK YOU JILLY! I took the photos and wrote illegible notes while she mixed and crafted this masterpiece. 
Prep: 15 minutes            Cook Time: 45 Minutes           Total Time: Around and hour

Difficulty: Novice            

Makes a whole cheesecake

  • 1 premade oreo pie crust
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 blocks of sofented cream cheese
  • 1/2 cup of sugar
  • 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla
  • 1/2 cup of chocolate chips
  • Frozen Strawberries and/or whipped cream for topping (optional)
1.  Combine the cream cheese, vanilla, and sugar and whip it until it is smooth.

2.  Add two egg yolks to the bowl, reserve the egg whites and yet again whip until it's alllll smooooth. 

3.  Whip the egg whites in a separate bowl. Then add them to the large bowl with everything else and whip i all up again until it looks like the photo above. 

4.  Fold in the chocolate chips and carefully pour everything into the pie crust. Smooth out the top with a rubber scraper. 
5.  Bake in the oven at 325 degrees for 45-50 minutes until the top is golden brown and slightly cracked. 

6.  This step sucks. You have to leave the cheesecake in the fridge to cool. I cooled it overnight and ate it for breakfast. It is indeed the most important meal of the day.  That wasn't hard at all was it??  Enjoy!!!!
GAH! This is so easy. 
SO MUCH CHEAPER THAN BUYING 9 BAGS OF JERKY AT THE GAS STATION! I usually have all of this lying around my fridge/freezer. The only things you really need are TIME and a dehydrator. I have done jerky in my oven before... I can tell you from experience that the dehydrator is: easier to load, more consistent in temperature, and most importantly easier to clean. IT ALWAYS TASTES BETTER! 
Prep: 20 minutes, Plus an overnight session in the fridge  

Cook Time: 5-8 hours           Total Time: Lots, but WORTH IT

Difficulty: Novice            

Makes about 1/2 lb of Jerky

  • 2 lbs of Sirloin steak SLIGHTLY frozen ( I usually use old shit that has been sitting around in my freezer that I forgot about.)
  • 1/2 cup of soy sauce ( I LOVE golden swan)
  • 2 tbsp of Worcestershire sauce
  • 2 tbsp give or take of black pepper
  • 2 tbsp of hot pepper sauce
  • 3 tbsp of liquid smoke
  • 2 tbsp of garlic salt
  • 2 tbsp of brown sugar
1.  Slice the steak while it is slightly frozen still into thinner strips. Not more than 1/4 inch.

2.  Combine all the other ingredients into a gallon bag.

3.  Add the meat yo! Leave it in the fridge at LEAST overnight. 

4.  Throw the strips in your dehydrator for 5-8 hours at 160 degrees. (Fahrenheit, AMERICA!!!) You want the meat to be at the perfect point where it will bend but not break. In this case I left them in for approximately 6 hours. 

5. O-MY-G. Eat it. But not all in one sitting. You might get indigestion. I wouldn't know from experience .... maybe... 
So... I've gotten requests to put up some quick and easy meals. 
   This one is pretty simple, and doesn't require many ingredients.  It will: impress a date, impress your parents, impress your hot teacher, or even your cynical foodie room mates. 

Prep: 15 minutes            Cook Time:  35 minutes            Total Time: Under an Hour  

Difficulty: Novice            

Makes 4 Servings

  • 4 chicken breasts flattened
  • 4 cloves of garlic minced
  • 4 servings of spaghetti noodles ( I prefer angel hair)
  • 1 Jar or Can of your favorite red sauce 
  • 1/3 cup of shredded Parmesan cheese
  • 1/3 cup of Italian Panko style bread crumbs 
  • Garlic salt
  • Pepper
  • 2 tbsp of olive oil
  • 1/3 cup of mozzarella cheese

1.  Mix the bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese, 1 tsp garlic salt and 1 tsp of pepper in a large gallon bag.

2.  Flatten the chicken breasts or butterfly them. Then shake them in the bread crumb bag. 

3.  Heat up the oil and when it's hot throw in the chicken breasts over medium heat. As soon as I throw the chicken in I start  to heat a large pot of water for the noodles. 

4.  Add the rest of the bread crumbs/parm  to the exposed tops of the chicken breasts before and after you flip them. As soon as they are golden brown throw in the garlic. Make sure your stove is over a medium-low heat so the garlic doesn't burn. 
5.  After the garlic is cooked, add your sauce around the chicken. Make sure you don't move the chicken around after the sauce is in, or you will lose its breading. Simmer.

6.   By now your water should be boiling. Start to cook your noodles. 
7.   Cover the exposed tops of the chicken breasts with the mozzarella cheese. Cover the pan and wait for it to melt.

8.  When the mozzarella is melted and the noodles are done, serve a chicken breast and sauce over the noodles!